What’s up, Apes. It’s Captain Ape # 6171… I’ve come out of retirement, left the Everglades, and set up shop in Dry Creek Valley. Partnering with celebrated Eifrig Cellars to launch Bored Captain Wines is exactly what I needed.

Being crypto rich and retired wasn’t for me. I’m giving Apes special access to a very limited-edition vintage… it’s a 2014 Cabernet Sauvignon from legendary guru Doc Eifrig. The Captain’s Cabernet is for Apes who believe life gives us choices and opportunities even if we’re bored to death.

We limited this run to 171 bottles. (When I said limited, I meant it.), This will be one of the best Cabs you’ve ever had. And once you’re done being blown away drinking it (the wine not the serum!) the NFT artwork, featuring yours truly, makes for a rare display piece.

The wine is a vibrant purple, with multiple layers of legs; the initial short fat slow ones segue to long narrow silky lines over the first few minutes. We love the aromas of sweet cedar, notes of cola, blueberry, and French herbs. A wisp or two of chocolate and dark cocoa waft above the glass for ages.

We especially love the smooth taste of blue fruits and background cola and chocolate notes. The oak and terroir of Dry Creek are delicately featured within the broad palate of fruits, acids, and polyphenols.  

After 20 minutes, this is as pretty a wine as I can recall drinking in the last decade. It’s delicate, and yet expressive with gorgeous elements coherent with the great Cabernets (both old world and new) from around the world. 

At 100% Cab, I’m not sure what I could improve on. The aromas and tastes are mesmerizing. And boring.